Homestudy Complete

Our homestudy is finally complete!  Insert "Yahoo!" here :)   This comes with both a sigh of relief and a little nervousness as we continue to move forward in this adoption journey.   A sigh of relief because the homestudy is a big job and not cheap (around $3000).  Nervousness because I know that the homestudy is part of the process we can control -- we are the ones who have to get the checklist completed and so the ball can roll as fast or as slow as we please.  The time is coming where the ball will not be in our court anymore and we simply have to wait.  This makes me nervous and even, dare I say it, anxious.  I am not good at waiting! 

Our homestudy took us about five months from our submission of our application to the signed copy in our hands.  This was mostly due to me working and not having much extra time for the paperwork required.  Let me give you a brief overview of what the homestudy consists of:

Initial application and payment (our practitioner required payment up front)
SAFE Questionnaire which consisted of 16 pages of questions that each of us had to fill out 
Medical Report completed by our family doctor for each of us
Local Police Clearance 
RCMP fingerprinting
Child Welfare Agency Record Check (from two different agencies)
Financial Statement
Home Safety Checklist
10 Reference Letters/Checklists

We also met with our practitioner a number of times.  We interviewed as a couple and  in her office as well as had her visit us in our home so she could both meet our children and see where we live.  

The final document is 26 pages (single-spaced!!)which covers our basic demographic stats, our motivation for adopting another child, our physical appearances, personalities, interests/hobbies and future goals, our family lifestyle, household rules, roles and expectations, our experience and views on discipline, our pets, our recreational, social and religious activities, and information on our home and community.  This is only the first half of the document!  The second half consists of our childhood and family history, education and employment history and our marital relationship.  We were also asked many questions about the personalities of our children and our extended family relationships.  The final few pages cover our finances, short and long-term planning for our family as well as reflecting on what we learned at our PRIDE training (issues like separation and loss, attachment and bonding, cross cultural issues and available resources) and awareness of open adoption. 

Whew!   No wonder it took five months to collect and organize. 

It is interesting to read about your life written out objectively and knowing that this is what the Ministry of Children and Youth Services will be using when they decide whether or not to approve an adoption placement.   At the end of our homestudy there is a simple statement that opens the door: 

"It is recommended that Joshua Clarence Tuininga and April Joy Tuininga 

be approved for adoption."  

And while this seems like the obvious conclusion, it is an important and satisfying one as well.  

I have an adoptive mom friend who tells me that if she is feeling down about herself and is struggling as a parent, she simply reads her homestudy.  It reminds her of all her good traits she has as an individual and as a mother.  It refreshes and encourages her.   What a great way to look at this huge document! 

Our next big deal is our consultation with our adoption agency which will happen in the next few weeks.  Please continue to pray for our family, our future child (and his/her birth parents) and all the folks involved in making our dream a reality.  

Blessings, 
April 

 

We Survived Warrior Dash 2013

We did it!  Our team of five warriors crossed the finish line together Saturday in victory. 

We were joined by Jason & Krista Taekema and Roelof Peereboom.

How was it?  It was GREAT!  What a feeling of accomplishment while being covered in mud and tired from running up and down and all around for 5 km interspersed with interesting and challenging obstacles.

First of all, an important note.  The Dash was held north of Barrie, ON at Horseshoe Valley.  For those of you who don't know the area, this is a ski resort.  So yes, we were running UP hills that were only meant to be traveled DOWN.   In fact, this is how we started off -- running up a long rather steep hill where most people had slowed down to a walk by the midpoint ... yes, even me.  There was even one hill to climb up that had ropes that you could use to keep your footing.  But there were also long stretches of trails through the woods that were absolutely gorgeous that made the running enjoyable. 

The final descent.  Notice the cargo net behind!  

   

I slipped and was literally dragged across the finish line!    

Now, the obstacles and the mud.  Fun!  There were walls to hop/drag yourself over, walls that had to be scaled up and rappelled down, cargo nets to be used to climb up up up and then down down down, pits of water criss-crossed by barbed wire so you had to crawl underneath,  and of course a few water pits followed by lots of mud to navigate through.  It has been a long time since I have purposely run through ankle/calf deep water and mud - I forgot how much fun it is!!  Near the end there was the final descent (thankfully) in full view of the cheering onlookers, there were two lines of fire to jump over and a water, well mud pit, to pull yourself through and then the finish line. 

We were very glad to be done but we were all smiles as we posed for muddy pictures and then headed towards rows of hoses to spray off.  The weather was perfect as we lounged on the grassy area to dry off, rehash the race and relax for a few minutes before heading home. 

We are already planning for next year ...wanna join us?!

Thank you to all of you who sponsored us to complete the race.  We feel blessed by your confidence in us and your excitement for our adoption journey. 

The things we do for our kids!!

April

Still in love!

Successful Warriors!

Creating a Profile

Imagine you had to create a snapshot of who you are with only a few words and a few pictures.  This snapshot of your life will impact another person's life so much so that their very life may depend on it.  It is that important.   What kinds of information do you include?  What pictures best show who you are, what you do and what you stand for?   A major point for consideration while you create this snapshot, is that you don't know whose life you will be impacting. 

These are some of the questions that have run through my mind as I have been working on creating our family profile.  A profile is simply a booklet/document that our social worker and adoption agency will provide to birth moms and/or dads when they are making an adoption plan for their child.  Sounds straight forward, easy and kind of fun right? 

Yes and no.

Birth parents will generally receive a number of family profiles that they can peruse before they choose a family to adopt their child.   I am not sure how many families are on the waiting list at our agency but I do know that there are more families than just us.  So, creating a profile becomes a big deal.  This profile is a birth parents' snapshot of our life.   This is the only information they will have access to in order to give us an incredible gift, a child.  Their child.  Whew -- tall order. 

What would I be looking for if I was making a plan for my child? 

The profile needs to be honest and straightforward - no glamorizing or stretching the truth as someday this birth parent will be part of our lives and will see us in our 'natural habitat'.  The profile also needs to show her why our family is the family she wants and needs for her child.   We want her to see how much fun we have and how much we love each other.

The big question basically is why should a birth parent choose us?   

So, I've been writing, importing pictures and digitally scrapbooking our life into twelve pages.  In doing so, I've realized that God has given me so much.   He has given me a husband who not only is a great hubby but an amazing father.  He has given me two great kids.  They keep me hopping but goodness, they make me laugh!  He has given me extended family and friends that bend over backwards to love, support, pray and help whenever we need it.  And He has given me a home and community to call my own.  God is so good and I am so excited to share all this good stuff with not only another child but with his/her birth parents as well.  

Again, God has shown me His love, guidance and faithfulness through this step of the process.  

Thankful. 

April 

Josh & Jude enjoying the beach. 

April & Kailyn at the zoo.

I'm So Glad I Have Two of My Own (so far!)

After reading a friend's blog (check it out here: www.addingaburden.com), I am inspired to share my reflections on a question that has been asked of me on occasion over the past two years -- since our announcement and arrival of our son: J-man, Jude-bug, Jude.  I have thought a lot about it.    

Here's the question: "Aren't you so glad that you now have one of your own?"

What am I to make of this question?  My reaction, so as not to cause discomfort or tension, is to give the answer the questioner is expecting -- namely, YES.  Of course I am so glad to have one of my own. 

But wait a minute ... this is a loaded question.  My inner thoughts, the ones less spoken, immediately think about Kailyn.  The series of questions runs something like this ... 

* Did she hear this question and more importantly, my answer? 
* Does she think she is not "one of my own"? 
* Is she less my own child than Jude is simply because I carried him in my womb and not her?  

Then those thoughts go bigger ... 

* Does God consider me "his own" child even though I am adopted by the blood of His son?
* Do I miss out on the benefits of being part of the family of God because I am adopted by my heavenly Father?

A relative of Josh asked me to answer the following question honestly: "The first time you held each of your children, did it feel different?"  My answer was simply, "No."  I thank God for this.  The first time I held Kailyn I felt immediate love, adoration, intense joy and giddiness -- here was my daughter.  The first time I held Jude, I felt immediate love, adoration, intense joy and giddiness (with a touch of relief that labour was finally over!) -- here was my son.  I understand that this is not the case for all mothers, both biological and adoptive, but I can truly and honestly say that God gave me this gift of unconditional love for my children that poured out of me the first second I laid my eyes on each of my kiddos.  

They are mine. They are gifts straight from the hand of God.  They are MY OWN.   

And I truly believe that when God looks down on me, He sees me as HIS OWN too.  

Blessings, 
April